Shipping in Debate Club

Impromptus, I’ve decided, are high-stress, but high-fun, and full of the weirdest things possible.

Also, you learn that Hitler is really useful, though not necessarily in Speech events. Rather, Die Fruher is a popular target of example for Policy and Lincoln Douglas debaters, who don’t give a damn about rules of thumb and rules of protocol and etiquette in general. However, the rule is that if people aren’t dead, it’s not Hitler.

What a shame.

Then again, Speech and Debate are rife with potential shippings. In one Impromptu drill session, followed by gatherings of informations regarding Expositories and Oratories, my friend and I founded quite a few new pairings. Well, enough to rival that of MMWP.

Joking. Joking. No one can rival mew-tsubaki and Morghen‘s weird pairings. The ones we decided on aren’t even particularly original anyway. Unless you count crossovers.

First of all, the less original.

My friend–we’ll call her Jess–goes up to do her impromptu. She chooses DC v. Marvel Comics (her personal specialty) and proceeds to (while quite maturely) talk about the queer character in both comics. While Marvel has several, DC has minor, almost inconsequential characters. Shipping is primarily, shall we say, not hetero-friendly. After all, where’s the fun in that, since they would be the most obvious, and possibly the most canon? Shipping is all about fantasy, and nothing gets more fantastical than homosexual couples that wouldn’t ever show up on screen. That’s okay, though. We’ve got those short little one-liners between our favorite two male characters that totally show off their potential OTP-ness.

A boy mentioned doing an Expos on Star Wars and Star Trek and all things George Lucas. Okay. But then, he mentions Captain Kirk. What happens almost simultaneously is “The merits of shipping Spock and Kirk and why they are meant to be”. And highly inappropriate, poorly stifled laughter.

In a lull in the conversation, we converse briefly about Hetalia and its crazy, vicious, though often fun, fandoms.

One of the old seniors from last year came back and decided that she would do an Impromtu just for fun. Magically, she gets Yoda v. Dumbledore. Naturally, my mind jumps all the way to crossover-shipping. YoDumble, anyone? Hell, I almost didn’t see that coming. I certainly didn’t think of Dumbledore and Grindelwald together together, like, friend-friends. In my mind, they were always old men. And old-man-sex is…gross. Ew.

Then, she chooses dictators instead and chooses to mention Mussolini and Hitler. With a poorly worded sentence that went from Mussolini being Hitler’s subordinate to equal to other half to other pair, we both hit upon a secret, torrid affair between the two leading communist leaders.

Dear lord, what would life be like if that was actually real?

Of course, I’m then reminded of a genderbent fiction I read recently on AO3 of a dominatrix Hitler a defenseless, virgin Jew, and President Bush.

I’m going to hell because of Debate, but I did get to change my Oratory from persuading people to believe that Modern Art should not be considered art to persuading people that shipping is neither weird nor esoteric and that it is, in fact, a beautiful everyday occurrence that people should not reject for being abnormal.

Because, you fucking blind idiots, YOU ARE ALL SHIPPERS.

That being said, I should really get started on my outline…

Wish You Were Here–Pink Floyd


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